Goals I'm Bringing Into 2016.

Goals to me are something to look forward to especially if you really want to do something, big or small, they're about looking forward to something and that's what lifes all about. They aren't set in stone like many New Year's resolutions seem to be, they can change as you do. It doesn't matter whatever your goals are, you can always work towards them, not matter of age, health or wealth. This doesn't mean to go run a marathon you've wanted to do, when you can't walk without crutches. It means to look at what you want to do and take steps towards it (that accidental pun ha!) and that's the difference between New Year's resolutions and goals. Goals are about the future and not something you've got to do immediately after the clocks tick over from the year before. To me New Year's Resolutions are sort of made to be broken. 'New Year, New Me' nah I'm good, who needs to change that much anyway...

Accept myself as disabled and accept my limitations

From finding out I was born with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome at the age of 6, after wearing massive splints to try correct my flat feet and having lots of pain and dislocations. To refusing to wear them as a young teenager as I didn’t want to be seen as different. From needing to use crutches and wearing casts and air-boots at the age of 15 and spewing lies to people who asked what was wrong.  I saw a psychologist from the age of twelve, as my pain was ‘a repercussion of what was happening in family life’. I went through a time where I saw him a few times a week and from the age of 16 I was medicated. From having six operations between 16 and 20 to try and alleviate some pain from my ankles and pushing my body so hard that it caved in and crashed. I could no longer use my stubbornness to push and get things done. I felt spaced out and continuously got ill and was diagnosed with M.E a few months later. I’ve gone from somebody who worked so hard on things to be perfect and never stopped, to learning to accept that 'it'll have to do'. To feeling that I'm wasting my days, months, years and everyone is moving forward when I'm stood still.

Over the past few years I've been trying to accept that this is my life, that I can't do the things I wished of when I was growing up and I'm trying to remember that it's completely ok. It's ok to not be able to go to uni, to go work/earn money and still live at home because this is how my life has turned out and I've got to make the best out of what I've got. I need to learn to not compare myself to people my age and against the person I wished to be.

Being open about my disabilities 

Growing up I thought that my disabilities were my dirty little secret. All I ever wanted was to be normal, to be the sheep and fit in. Now I think that this is really really stupid, even still to this day I automatically hide what's really going on. The amount of friendships I've lost from receding into myself for weeks to months and not being able to figure out what to say to anyone/feeling like I don't want to get in the way of someone's life. It doesn't matter how much I love being around someone/value their friendship and even if they're family, it would still happen.

To help with this I've decided that I need to be more open, if I'm having a bad episode then I need to say so. I need to learn that being open about my health will not be negative. Its giving an answer to a message that I would otherwise 'text back later' which would never happen.

Go outside 

I love the outside, nature, wildlife and so on. I love sitting outside and hearing the wind rustle the trees, the bird chirping, seeing wildlife and having the sun beaming on my face. I love to watch my 10 chickens play around and for them to make me smile as I see their personalities shine through. I could watch them all day and I do but only from the sofa and being outside with them gives me so much more happiness. There are some times that I don't leave the house for the week or even open the door. Nothing beats having fresh air engulf the room or around me and letting it calm me. My goal is to go outside every day, I don't have to get dress or anything, I just have to go outside for 5 minutes or so and enjoy doing something I love.

Take more photos

Photography is something that I've always loved, as a young teenager I remember having plenty of photo shoots of my beautiful cat called Boy, he would let anyone do anything and he wouldn't get annoyed or bored. I'm always taking pictures of anything I love but hadn't gone out to take 'proper' pictures for a while apart from pictures of Leo my cat and my food.
For the past month or so my boyfriend has gotten into photography and that's reignited my love for it so we've been taking little trips out for a few hours to take photos. I've even dedicated a notebook to it, to jot down places that we would like to go. There's also pages for things we'd like to attempt and things that would get each other out of their comfort zone. My boyfriend loves to do street photography and taking pictures of people, whereas I'm the opposite and love taking pictures of wildlife, plants, landscapes and architecture so we go out to do both. I've been loving going out and doing something I love.

To be grateful and mindful.

When I'm in a good mindset I can count what I'm grateful for but it's when I'm not that I need to. It can be so easy to forget the good things, no matter how small. Had a bath? awesome
Changed pajamas? awesome
Brushed your hair? awesome
Got out your bed? awesome
Eaten something? awesome
I can often get into 'why me' mindset and seeing things that you're grateful for helps. You can go from not seeing anything good to hopefully releasing even small achievements and victories are really good. 

My goal is to write 3 things I'm grateful for everyday, I've got to admit I'm probably wont be very good at keeping it up on a daily bases as I often forget or think what's the point but that's the exact time that I need to do it. I need to be more aware of what's happening. What I feel mentally and physically, what I can smell, hear and see. Its bring me awareness of how I'm feeling and what's going around me, I find it grounds me when my feeling and head are hectic.


That concludes my goals for not only 2016 but life in general and realising it doesn't matter if I complete these goals or not as they're like people/time, they constantly change.

To the year ahead *hold up cup of tea*.

What are your hopes, aspirations or goals that you're bringing into 2016? I'd love to hear them.

Devon x

No comments