Dear diary #1 It all started with a hello

Independence was a major thing for this year. After being in relationships since I was 15 ish it was time to embrace this opportunity of being single with both hands and start doing sh*t by myself, for myself. I've explored and travelled, made online friendships, met some of those friends in real life, gone to multiple gigs, took myself to the cinema, joined an EDS group and just started putting myself out there more.

Like everyone with mental health problems I have those days where my self-confidence goes and I want to hide from the world, but these are healthy as well I guess. Gives the good days prospective and even those, what the hell is my life days are only temporary even if they don't feel like so at the time. It's very easy when you have physical health issues to compare your life to firstly of what you expected out of life and to others around you and this is what gets me on my bad days but as I said earlier I have to remember these feelings are just temporary. 

If you have a chronic illness yourself then you'll know you become accustomed to your own company and with my fluctuating health both mental and physical, it can leave you feeling kind of lonely and cut off, most of that was self-sabotage, to be honest. This became a thing that I wanted to work on in my last CBT group of sessions a few months ago.

Travelling back on the bus from one of those sessions I thought of the perfect opportunity for me to practice talking to people. I had become a regular viewer of a few twitch channels. Starting my morning off with Dr Gluon had become my morning routine but I ever hardly talked and this is what I wanted to change.

It all started with a hello

Honestly, twitch has truly changed my life this past 6 months or so, it gave me something to look forward to every day where you can talk to and become part of a community. From Dr Gluon's community, I was introduced to lots of other streamers, where his community has become a big family, that help, support and more importantly the laughs we all have. I've met some really true friends there. This led to me RSVPing to a twitch event in London to go meet a few of them. Just thinking back to last year I wouldn't have gone to this event with people I know, let alone, travel down, stay in London for the weekend and meet people I've only talked to online. I ended up having an amazing time and can't wait to meet with them and more all again, plus I got some cool twitch sunglasses for donating to a charity.

I look forward to sharing with you all what's next in my life and look out for a future post on my favourite twitch streamers!


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