It's been a year... Journey to independence

With it being RHS Tatton again this year shows that it has been a year in my independence 'journey', I don't know what else to call it. Going to Tatton alone last year was the first thing I did once I decided I had had enough of relying on other people, it wasn't fair on me or them. it was a very spontaneous thing that I quickly booked without giving it any thought, now I'd spent money on the tickets I sort of had to go now didn't I? Without letting myself get psyched out I booked the train tickets and a few days later I was on my way. 

The journey there wasn't the easiest, constant delays and cancellations and a very very rude customer service attendant. I left early ready for my train due at 7.30pm, very nervous but adamant I was going to do this. I watched a documentary the night before and a quote, that I don't remember now, rang through my ears, something to do with beating anxiety. I replayed that saying the whole time I was out and it helped a lot. Even with the horrendous journey that I would want no one to repeat, I knew that this one a one-off and that this isn't going to happen every time. Taking every step as it came I finally arrived at 12.30pm, quite a bit later than was intended but decided to sit down and eat the homemade seitan sandwich, and my homemade, I mean I made the bread and the seitan late the night before... To be honest, that sandwich was amazing and I still think about it all the time, (when aren't I thinking about food really?!) worth staying up super late to make. It pretty lucky I channelled my nerves into making that sandwich really cos there was bugger all I could eat at the actual event, it was all hog roasts. Hopefully, it was better this year. 

Although I think the path of me becoming a garden designer currently isn't viable and I'm not sure it will ever be, it was refreshing to see all these designs by different types of people. The best part taking away ideas from designs that I personally wouldn't create myself and seeing other peoples perspectives on design. Just being out in the sun surrounded by all these colourful plants and lots of passionate people should put anyone in a good mood and it certainly did for me.

Talking about this year I was thinking about going to Tatton again, part of me wishes I did, to show myself how far I've come from the shell of a person I was last year but I know how far I've come and what I've achieved but I have also missed out on the adventure of travelling. I can't be the only one that loves sitting on a train and watching the world go by.

This past year I've have done so much some of which were on my mid-year bucket list last year, I can't wait to see what the next year brings. Maybe its time for a new yearly bucket list?


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